The Road to Mental Wellness by Jonathan Arenburg

Author:Jonathan Arenburg [Arenburg, Jonathan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-09-13T04:00:00+00:00

My Psychiatrist

The Other Piece of the Wellness Puzzle and a Diagnosis Too

My psychologist wasn’t the only miracle worker in my case. My psychiatrist, a ready-to-retire man of Egyptian heritage with a thick accent and thinning jet-black hair, was a life-saver for me.

When I first sat down in front of him, I noticed how unremarkable his office was: a small, almost perfect square, made of cinder block all the way around. It sticks out to me because the place and its furniture reminded me of the 1980s.

Because there was little to no therapeutic intervention taking place, because his job was to figure out the right kind of medication for me, our interaction was pretty well the same. So much so, it felt more as if we were getting together and rehearsing lines for a TV show. “How do you feel? Are you feeling better with the medication?” were commonly-repeated questions.

The only differences in the script came with the medication he prescribed and of course, the diagnosis he gave me. “You have a mild impulsivity issue, not diagnosable as ADHD but a mental disorder of the anxious variety, generalized anxiety disorder.” I had limited knowledge as to what that was, but I was not surprised. After decades of struggle, this was more of a confirmation than something from the air.

When those words flowed from his lips and into my ears, my first reaction in my head was: “What exactly is generalized anxiety disorder?” So, in a rush, I asked him.

“John, it’s when a person has an excessive feeling of near-constant worry about everything,” he said. “The source of the anxiety is often unknown. Evidently GAD, as it is commonly referred to, can cause physical symptoms too, symptoms like shortness of breath, heart palpitations and more.”

In an instant, I had a light-bulb moment. This was everything that was happening to me, especially at work. I literally thought I was dying when I was dominated by these symptoms, and that’s something I’ve since read about, experienced by many, many people with anxiety, panic attacks, etc. I even had a name for this sense of worry – I had always referred to it as just me being a worst-case-scenario thinker. It was so much a part of me for so long, I thought it was a skill-set, not a mental illness. I had always believed that this “skill” was what made me a better firefighter. I could see how to minimize situations that were not safe, dangers that it seemed no one else could see. “Yes – I did become a master of something,” I’d sometimes say to myself. “A master at predicting the potential outcome of dangers down the road if certain precautions weren’t put in place to help reduce impact.”

Now armed with a diagnosis, I had a clear sense of direction, a jump-off point from which I could really pave my way to wellness. I don’t recall having any conflicting feelings. I just remember a sense of relief wash over me. “Finally, finally, it all made sense.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.